Tuesday, June 24, 2008

No Worries

I was so unconcerned about the results from my June 17th blood test that my mom had to remind me the next day to call. For the second week in a row my hcG levels were less than 2. My first monthly blood test won't be until July 15. In celebration of not having to be at the doctors office for the first time in 6 months at 8 in the morning, I slept in!!!! Indulgent, I know. Afterwards I cleaned house and for the first time in 8 weeks, I mopped my floors. My doctor cleared me and now that the bodily healing is almost complete, I feel like things are returning to a sense of normalcy. I know things will never be the same. Numbers for instance aren't as simple as they once were, the upcoming months and years when a blood test is done, a single number will reign supreme and for the days until results my world will revolve around it. The days before and after are now marked in terms of Before Cancer, Living with Cancer, and Cancer Free. The 6 months that I had cancer will live on in my memory for years to come, while the details may go fuzzy, and the scar fades, the emotions will only dull slightly, my life has been forever impacted by this. And now that it has come to an end, I count the weeks so far, I'm 4 weeks cancer free, soon it'll be10 months, 2 years, a decade and more. And every time I think about it, I know I'll always feel the same euphoric relief that I can never and will never be able to describe. I'll always feel like jumping up and down and laughing until I cry and crying until there are no more tears left. And under it all is the unfailing presence of the hundreds of prayers that were sent up by friends, family, and people I've never met and probably never will, the unfailing presence of My Lord and Saviour who I chose to honor by trying to be the best witness possible so the unbeliever would know of the depth of love and passion He has for everyone who does and doesn't believe. The strength that at times baffled even myself came only from Him and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will continue to give me strength that will allow me to go through each day without a worry.

Call on Jesus, ask Him into your heart so that you to may have no worries. Whisper His name, "JESUS", feel the power in it and open your heart. It is said that even demons tremble at the name of Jesus. What awesome power. Ask Him into your heart today. He doesn't care how you come to Him, only that you're there.

Romans 3:23- "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."