Tuesday, June 24, 2008

No Worries

I was so unconcerned about the results from my June 17th blood test that my mom had to remind me the next day to call. For the second week in a row my hcG levels were less than 2. My first monthly blood test won't be until July 15. In celebration of not having to be at the doctors office for the first time in 6 months at 8 in the morning, I slept in!!!! Indulgent, I know. Afterwards I cleaned house and for the first time in 8 weeks, I mopped my floors. My doctor cleared me and now that the bodily healing is almost complete, I feel like things are returning to a sense of normalcy. I know things will never be the same. Numbers for instance aren't as simple as they once were, the upcoming months and years when a blood test is done, a single number will reign supreme and for the days until results my world will revolve around it. The days before and after are now marked in terms of Before Cancer, Living with Cancer, and Cancer Free. The 6 months that I had cancer will live on in my memory for years to come, while the details may go fuzzy, and the scar fades, the emotions will only dull slightly, my life has been forever impacted by this. And now that it has come to an end, I count the weeks so far, I'm 4 weeks cancer free, soon it'll be10 months, 2 years, a decade and more. And every time I think about it, I know I'll always feel the same euphoric relief that I can never and will never be able to describe. I'll always feel like jumping up and down and laughing until I cry and crying until there are no more tears left. And under it all is the unfailing presence of the hundreds of prayers that were sent up by friends, family, and people I've never met and probably never will, the unfailing presence of My Lord and Saviour who I chose to honor by trying to be the best witness possible so the unbeliever would know of the depth of love and passion He has for everyone who does and doesn't believe. The strength that at times baffled even myself came only from Him and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will continue to give me strength that will allow me to go through each day without a worry.

Call on Jesus, ask Him into your heart so that you to may have no worries. Whisper His name, "JESUS", feel the power in it and open your heart. It is said that even demons tremble at the name of Jesus. What awesome power. Ask Him into your heart today. He doesn't care how you come to Him, only that you're there.

Romans 3:23- "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Cancer Free

After a long four months, the results are in. . . I AM CANCER FREE!!!!!!

Four weeks after my hysterectomy, my numbers have fallen from 8090 to less than 2!!!!! How awesome is that!!!! I just want to give thanks for the many prayers and unfailing support that I have received from not just family and friends, but also from my Lord and Saviour. Faith in God has been so instrumental in this journey that words can't describe what this cancer would have been like had I not been a Christian and part of a wonderful church family. There is always power in prayer and never has that been more evident for me than it has through out these last few months. Just recently, I asked for prayer in Life Studies for my poor little veins. With my veins blowing and the amount of scar tissue that has developed, I was worried about how I was going to get my chemo at my doctors appointment this past Tuesday. Prayers were answered in a very unexpected way when the doctor told me I wouldn't need any more chemo, period as long as my numbers stay less than 5 for the next year. Sends chills down your spine doesn't it.

The next few blogs will be few and far between as my journey is coming to a close. I'll do the last of my weekly blood tests next Tuesday and then I'm cleared until July 15 and once each month until September when I see the doctor again.

If anyone reading what has been written through out these posts has been diagnosed with a molar pregnancy and has questions, feel free to email me at angelalhayes@yahoo.com and definitely sign up for the free support group that is aimed personal for women affected by molar pregnancies- www.mymolarpregnancy.com. The more information and support you have, the better your chances are of defeating this cruel disease.

Many blessings to all.